Michael Phelps' diet, baseball pants, and TMI from yours truly
Saturday, March 27, 2010 at 10:55PM In the spirit of the Men’s NCAA Division I Swimming & Diving Championships, here’s the second installment of Things You Clearly Want to Know About Swimming and Weren’t Afraid to Google. Also, to clarify, I don’t mean this post to be in the spirit of men’s NCAAs in the way that the meet was delayed a day because of the athletes and coaches sickened with norovirus (stomach flu). I definitely don’t intend to champion vomit here.
Okay, let’s shift the focus of this post from bodily functions to bodies.
Elite swimmers are universally known for their hot, chiseled abs. And big shoulders. And breaking world records, I guess, but it’s really the abs that captivate an international audience. (It’s really too bad that swimming isn’t televised more often, I know.) Fittingly, the masses have turned to Google to answer their most burning questions about swimmers’ bodies.
How do swimmers get their bodies? A predictable question with an answer that isn't what you want to hear, since you want me to tell you that physical perfection is achieved via Doritos and naptime. They work out—hard—for at least 20 hours per week, which happens to be the NCAA maximum allowed practice time. Swimmers at the highest levels swim, lift weights, cross train, and basically kill themselves around the clock. To accomplish what they do in the water, swimmers require incredible strength, agility, and endurance. Personally, I wish all the work I did would’ve contributed to at least the most basic land skills. I have yet to see the day where I can easily balance on one foot.
Can swimming get you ripped? See above. If you’re willing to devote an incredible amount of time and energy to getting ripped, which will probably lead to becoming a faster swimmer as well, then go for it. Then you, too, can eat chocolate chip pancakes as part of a 10-course breakfast.
Do swimmers have the best bodies? Duh. Internet, this could’ve been solved with a Google Image search for Ryan Lochte. I don’t think the NFL can offer anything better than this. Major League Baseball can only offer competition in the area of cute butts, but even that can be questionable; I think it all depends on the pants.
Are swimmers tall? This is a mixed bag. I’ve known some world-class swimmers who were really short and even had a bit of a stocky build. On the other hand, I’ve known lanky swimmers who would probably make better basketball players, which, unfortunately, would require that they have actual land skills, so I’m not sure how this would work. If I had to guess, most swimmers are of average height or a bit taller. Height can offer sprinters an advantage in the pool, but then again, it’s all about strength. Regardless of body type, you have to have the strength to drag whatever jiggle you have through water, which is something like 12 times more resistant than air. I think what I’m getting to here is that those of us with greater mass should stick to running.
Can swimming make you taller? Worked for me, but then I hit a plateau at 5’11”.
Do swimmers shave their legs? This question, like other shaving questions, stems from urban legends about swimmers that are actually mostly true. For most of the year, male and female swimmers alike grow out the hair on their legs. It creates a little bit of drag, but it’s more significant in that it puts you in a mental corner in which you feel less sleek as you move through the water. At the end of the season at a championship meet, casually referred to as a shave and taper meet, swimmers shave arms, legs, chests (men), backs (men and some women), and for some men, the hair on their heads if they don’t wear a cap when competing. I know the thought of unshaven swimmers roaming the streets really bothers some civilians, so you’ll be glad to know that many women bleach their hair to make it stand out less. Some, like me, were blessed with more feminine leg hair in the first place, so it’s not all that bad. Now that you know entirely too much about the profile of my body hair, I think we’ve reached the end of this post.
Reader Comments (2)
Swimmers sound haut! Do any female swimmers train in bikinis?
Yes, and I would totally recommend something with "skimpy" in the product description. So much better for tan lines. http://www.swimoutlet.com/product_p/13677.htm
Downside: slips off easily during training. I could never manage to dive without an adjustment following immediately after hitting the water.